Needles needles everywhere! - Day 10 of 35 days to 35

After my hearty non-vegan breakfast of eggs & bacon (I don't think I have ever enjoyed a breakfast that much!), I head to my acupuncture appointment. This is something that I have been thinking about for a while. I envisioned myself in a quiet office with soft clinky-clinky music playing in the background and me laying on the table all Zen-like with tons of needles sticking out of my body. This is a big thing for me because I REALLY hate needles. The idea of voluntarily going and PAYING someone to stick needles all over me seemed less than appealing, but so many of my friends had touted the benefits of it so I figured it was worth a try. While researching local acupuncturists, I read a little about what to expect. Google told me that the needles used were very small, about the size of a hair...I think I can deal with that. It said to expect the session to last about an hour and to feel very relaxed and peaceful when it was all over. Perfect! Sign me up!

After perusing numerous websites, I finally settle on Carolyn Paine. I'm not sure what it was about her site that drew me, but I had a good feeling about her. This feeling was confirmed after my initial phone conversation with her. She had one of those soothing, you can trust me type voices of and I felt like I would be in good hands with her.

Driving to her office, I really wasn't nervous at all. I figured the needles wouldn't be that bad and I was pretty excited to try something so new and out of my comfort zone. Carolyn looked exactly like I had pictured her...very pleasant face, with the build of someone who lives on salads, tofu and yoga. I liked her immediately. She went through about 45 minutes of medical history with me, asking all kinds of questions, I assume to figure out exactly where she wanted to jam needles in me, uh, I mean gently place the needles. After the history part was done, she pulls out this chart with a very detailed drawing of the human body and explains where she plans to put the needles. Her plan is to "use broad strokes" to "shift my energy"...um, ok. And even though I told her that most of my issues were in my back, she said she wanted to put the needles pretty much everywhere but my back....alrighty then.

I am not sure why I expected her to tell me to undress and cover with a sheet like they do when you are getting a massage, so it caught me off guard when she said to just take my socks and shoes off and hop up on the table. The butterflies in my stomach are going a little nuts at this point, but in a good way. I can't believe I am really doing this....and not chickening out! I lay on the table and she dims the lights in the room. She rolls up the sleeves of my sweatshirt and the bottoms of my sweatpants to about the knee. Deep breaths, deep breaths....when the hell is she gonna start sticking me!? The first needle goes in my hand on the fleshy part between your thumb and index finger. Okay, that wasn't bad, I hardly felt it at all. I can't say the same about the next two needles she put in my hand. I am laying there thinking, "Damn, she just started... and I’m kinda done." More deep breaths and she moves on to my legs. At this point, my hand is starting to tingle and feel a little heavy. Weird, but okay. She inserts three needles along the front of my shin, which were pretty painless, then moves on to my feet. Okay, let me just say these needles HURT going in. Yes, it subsided pretty quickly but damn! When she put one of them in, it felt like a zap of electricity shot through my body. AND SHE IS ONLY ON THE RIGHT SIDE.

I continue to try to take deep breaths and not think about the strange sensations running through my body. I really can't put into words how I am feeling at this point. I am relaxed but a little puzzled by what my body is doing. Carolyn says, "I'm going to twist the needles a little to encourage the energy to move"....uh, wtf?! Then Carolyn tells me to try not to move because this may make the needles hurt more, so now I have that to think about as well! She is reassuring me that all of the sensations are normal and to just relax....yeah, that's not really happening. I can't stop my brain from trying to make sense of what I am feeling and I can feel my heart starting to beat faster. All of a sudden I get an uncontrollable urge to move...to move anything! It's like when you are getting an MRI and they tell you "Lay very still. If you move, we will have to do it again", so you lay there and all you can think about is how badly you want to move. Yeah, it was like that, only a million times worse because every time I moved even a little, I felt the needles go deeper and it was NOT pleasant. So let's recap: My body is feeling things it has never felt before and that I can't really wrap my head around, I can't convince myself to just relax and go with the experience and I can't move. Heart racing, sweat popping from every pore...this is so not cool. And now I am gonna hurl. Seriously. I sit up, needles and all and try to calm myself down. Poor Carolyn doesn't know what the hell to do and instead of calming down I am getting more freaked out.


"TAKE THEM OUT! TAKE THEM OUT NOW!"


Okay, maybe this wasn't such a good idea. I'm laying there on the table realizing that I am a complete control freak. If I am not completely certain of what is going to happen next, I resist it with everything I have. Yes, I'm a freak who can't even manage to relax when I am paying someone to help me do it. ISSUES!

You would think I would be making a beeline for the door as soon as I could manage to get my shoes on. Nope. I let her put four back in, one in each hand and each foot. Hey, I'm paying, I'm gonna freakin' do this if it kills me! The four needles still caused some of the same sensations, but it was definitely manageable. I am finally able to lay there and relax (a little) and before I know it she says we are done and she takes the needles out.

Now it's a little awkward because I can tell Carolyn feels badly about being the cause of my meltdown. She admitted that she might have been a little "ambitious" by starting with so many needles given that this was my first treatment. Ya think?? I reassure her that I really did like the experience (I DID! It was just a little more intense than I thought it would be) and that I really am okay and not upset by it at all...I'm pretty sure she believed me. I got up feeling relaxed and calm, ready to face the rest of my day.

Maybe next week's appointment will be a little better.....