Climb baby, climb - Day 14 of 35 days to 35

I am scared of a lot of things; heights are not one of them. I don't shy away from looking over the edge of a balcony several stories high and I loved the bungee flyer ride at Kings Island. Yes, I screamed the whole time, but these were screams of joy and excitement. I am the first in line for roller coasters and still rank parasailing in St. Thomas as one of the highlights of my life. It's not that being high up doesn't make my stomach lurch and cause a knot the size of Texas in my throat, but I love the adventure of it all. There is nothing like the thrill of being up where you have no business without a ton of protective gear, and the feeling of panic and exhilaration when you are not sure if you are going to meet an early death or have the time of your life. Yeah, I love that shit.

So I've done a few things in my life that would make an acrophobic have a heart attack, but I have never tried rock climbing. When I was in high school we did this ropes course and I got the opportunity to repel down a thirty foot wall. I was psyched until it came time to actually lean back and trust the rope. I was young, so this whole love of heights was not fully formed. I was a little apprehensive (read scared shitless) at first but loved it once I was able to just do it. That's what the whole thing is about...don't think, just do. I've seen people scaling rock walls at amusement parks and thought what a rush that would be, so this challenge definitely had to make the list.


I had heard there was a rock climbing gym here in Cincinnati and it did not take long for the google gods to lead me to Rock Quest. Their website showed people of all ages climbing these monstrous walls and explained that they had a beginner’s course called the Taste of Climbing. That sounded perfect!

I wake up excited about the day's challenge. Rock Quest opens at noon but my excitement has me in the car and on my way by 11:15 A.M. The whole drive there, my head is filled with visions of me scaling the walls like spider man and everyone staring in awe at what a natural I am (it's that whole grandiosity thing rearing its ugly head again). I arrive a bit before noon so I have to wait in my car. My excitement is starting to build and I am praying that I won't be really bad at this or fall in front of everyone. I walk in and am greeted by a very friendly girl who gives me the extensive cover-your-ass waiver that I have to sign, promising that I won't sue if I break my head. She gives me my shoes (had no idea you needed special climbing shoes!) and tells me that Ann will be working with me. Ann introduces herself and explains that she will be helping me with my climbs and will belay for me as I am climbing. I know enough to know that the belayer is the one on the ground holding the rope and making sure you don't come crashing down. All I can think as I look at her is, she's thin, much thinner than me...there is no way she is going to be able to hold the rope and catch my big ass if this all goes terribly wrong. But she looks confident and sounds like she knows what she is doing...and at this point I have no choice but to trust her. She shows me how to put on my harness-thingy. I get a bit overzealous with the tightening of the straps figuring the tighter, the better, right? Wrong. You kinda have to be able to move in order to climb, so I loosen them. A little.


We walk into the gym and are dwarfed by the enormous climbing walls in this room. They are high. Really, really high. And there are pegs on the ceiling. No shit. The ceiling. People actually climb 60 plus feet up then go parallel to the ground trusting a little hook and rope to keep them from falling. Yeah, that was not the beginner wall.

Ann explains that there are several different types of climbs you can do, including one without a rope. Now that's just crazy talk. She says there are several beginner walls to choose from and asks where I want to start. The easiest one of course! I choose one of the beginner walls in the middle of the room and Ann attaches me to the rope, saying "I'm ready when you are". Um...okay. I can do this. I try not to look up to see just how far the wall really goes and just grab the pegs and start climbing. There are lots of pegs to choose from so I get about halfway up pretty quickly. Then it seems that there are fewer and fewer places to put my hands. And I could swear these pegs are getting smaller. Are my legs shaking? Uh huh! And then the arm cramping begins. I stop climbing to catch my breath and look around. Big mistake. I am really f-ing high! Don't look down, don't look down! I turn my attention back to the wall and repeat to myself, "don't think, just do". I'm starting to really get tired and I reach up for the next peg but there isn't one. I'm at the top of the wall. I'M AT THE TOP OF THE WALL!!!!! I am ecstatic for about five seconds and then fear grips me...how the hell do I get down? I look down at Ann (who seems really far away at this point), and she tells me to just sit back in the harness, let go of the wall, grab the rope and push off the wall with my feet. Sounds easy enough. But I can't let go of the wall. My brain is sending messages to my hands to release the wall to which my hands are responding "Hell no you crazy bitch. Do you see how far up we are?"

Don't think, just do...don't think, just do. I close my eyes and let go of the wall. I feel myself slowly descending and finally let out the breath I didn't realize I was holding. It seems to take forever to get down and I'm so happy to feel solid ground under my feet.

"That was awesome! You did great!" Ann (my personal cheerleader) says. She's all excited and tells me that I should try a climb with a route. This means there are specific pegs that you can use so even though your hand might be right next to a peg, if it doesn't have your route color by it you can't use it. I am feeling pretty cocky after I kicked that first climb's ass, so I'm all about the route. Ummm, yeah, that one's not as easy at the first wall. I don't make it to the top....three quarters of the way up, my legs and arms are shaking, I am out of breath, and I can't find another freakin peg in my route. Whatever. Darlene - 1, Rock Wall - 1.


I redeem myself with my third and final climb and as I am coming down, I can't help but feel a little proud of myself. This was way harder than I thought it would be and I did pretty well. No, I did great! I thank Ann and assure her that I will be back and this time (unlike with the acupuncture) I really mean it.


As I drive away I am still breathing hard. I'm not sure if it's fatigue or adrenaline. Then I look at my shaking arms....definitely fatigue. For the first time I feel a stinging burn and look down to see my right knee is all scraped. NICE!


An hour later, I am still riding the adrenaline high of my climb and wearing my skinned knee like a badge of honor. Rock Quest will definitely be seeing me again.