It's not as easy as it looks! - Day 25 of 35 days to 35

My older sister was the coolest person I knew. Everything about her was cool, her clothes, her hair, her friends and especially her car. She had a cute little Subaru Sports Coupe and to me it was like a race car. She drove it with such authority and every time I saw her shift those gears, I was in awe. I had to learn to drive a stick.



When it came time for me to learn to drive, I could hardly contain my excitement. My dad was the designated driving teacher in the family, well actually in the neighborhood. Along with teaching my sister, he taught just about every other teenager in our neighborhood to drive a stick. They all loved him and made it look so easy that I just knew I would be driving like a champ in no time. What I didn't know, or rather what Pam neglected to tell me, is that Dad was a great teacher for everyone BUT her. He had patience for days with everyone else but Pam had about two chances to get it right before he started yelling. Apparently there were lots of tears involved. But she learned, and dammit, I would too.


Here's the problem. I didn't know the first thing about driving so not only was I trying to master the stick shift, but I was trying to figure out the basics of driving as well. This is not a good combination. A good rule of thumb in just about everything is to learn the basics before you get fancy. That would have been helpful here. Instead you have me, behind the wheel of my mom's BMW (Pam had moved out and it was the only stick shift in the house. I know what you're thinking and yes it kicked the anxiety level up about a thousand notches), stalling repeatedly and try not to hit anything when I finally did get going. There were tears. Lots and lots of tears. And then the check engine light came on in Mom's car. All of a sudden Mom and Dad didn't think it was necessary for me to learn to drive a stick, and automatic would be just fine. Imagine that.


So I never learned how to drive a stick and for a long time felt like I wasn't "really" driving. I wanted to drive with authority, to shift those gears like I owned the world and would run over anything that got in my way. And even though now you would be hard pressed to find a stick shift, I am still itching to learn. I will not turn 35 and not have this skill under my belt.


First things first: where the hell do I find a stick shift to drive? I call a few rental car companies only to learn that most of them don't have any stick shifts available. I didn't really want to ask anyone I knew to borrow their car because all I could see was that bright red CHECK ENGINE light in my mom's car after only one or two times with me behind the wheel and I did not want to be responsible for that again. But I was all out of other ideas. Leave it to Facebook to hook me up with generous friends willing to let me murder drive their cars and were even willing to teach me! I have such cool friends.


I decided to take Jaime up on her offer of driving lessons because she is one of the most laid back people I know so I figured she would not try to beat my ass if I really did kill her car. She said there was a parking lot not far from her house that would work great...nothing and no one for me to run over. Perfect. We arranged to meet on Thursday after I finished teaching and I had planned to let my class out a little early since I would be driving to the other side of town.


So, of course, my class picks today to actually participate in a discussion, so I end up leaving campus much later than I intended. I race to the sitter to pick Sammi up and call Jaime to tell her we should be there in about 20 minutes. But I forgot it's rush hour. I. HATE. RUSH HOUR. I just can't deal. The older I get, the less patience I have for traffic and I am in the thick of it. I we are inching down I-75 and I am yelling at cars to get out of my way. It doesn't help. We finally make it to the parking lot where Jaime is waiting and I immediately get nervous. Shit. Her car is nice. I was so hoping it was a beater because I have had nightmares of leaving her transmission in the middle of the road. I don't wanna break her car. My mom always told me not to play with things that I couldn't afford to replace and a car is so not in my budget right now. Please God don't let me kill her car!


I get Sammi settled in the back of Jaime's car with Aladdin playing on her portable DVD player and we are ready to roll. I'm all ready to jump in the driver's seat but Jaime goes to that side and gets in. Okay, I guess some preparation is needed. She begins by explaining where the different gears are located on the gearshift, and the importance of the clutch. I was somewhat familiar with the basics because of Dad's lessons from hell, but the refresher was definitely helpful. She drives around the practice route we are going to take, trying to get me to hear the car "tell me when it's time to shift". Uh, okay. She tries to explain that as I ease off the clutch, I should be able to feel when to give the car gas. And when in doubt, step on the clutch. Sounds easy enough.


I'm finally behind the wheel and anxious to try it out, but am immediately discouraged when I can't manage to put the car in first gear. Good thing Jaime told me to practice shifting before I actually started trying to drive the damn thing. I finally find first, struggle my way to second, completely miss third and muscle it into fourth. I silently thank God for Disney and portable DVD players because it is clearly going to be a long night.


Go time is here...I ease off the clutch and onto the gas and pull away as smoothly as if I were driving my own car. This should have been a good thing, but I could feel my head swelling and couldn't help but think "I got this. This is gonna be the fastest stick-driving lesson in history". I cruise around the parking lot, feeling all good, and like I am ready to hit the highway. I ease to a stop and turn the car off so I can do it again and impress Jaime with my ability to pick this up so quickly. I turn the key in the ignition and nothing. The lights come on, the radio comes on but the car is not starting. I turn it again...nothing. Again. Nothing. SHIT! I KILLED HER CAR!!! And it's only been like five minutes. Jaime seems unphased but I am freaking out.


"Maybe you aren't pushing in the clutch?" she says.


"BUT I AM!! I AM! I'm so sorry, I killed your car. Oh God, I killed your car".


I jam my left foot down as hard as I can and turn the key and the car roars to life.


Oops. Guess I wasn't pushing the clutch down far enough. I'll make a note of that.
With the start up issue solved, it's time to really go for a spin. I stall. Then I make the car sputter and jerk then stall again.
"Mommy! What are you DOING?" Sammi laughs.
Seriously, the backseat driver thing...so not cute right now.


I finally get the car going again, and once I am driving everything is cool. I CAN feel the car tell me when it's time to shift and I feel so cool, like I am really driving. I make a few more circles around the parking lot, to build my confidence and then I feel like I'm ready to take it to the streets. I pull to the end of the parking lot and get ready to turn. Clearly I am going to need a huge break in traffic (just in case) so I sit there for a while waiting until I can't see any cars. It takes a minute. I jerkily (is that even a word?) pull out onto the street and get the car going so I can hit third gear (which I did find, thank you very much!). I'M DRIVING A STICK! HOW COOL AM I RIGHT NOW! I turn into one of the neighborhoods to get some good starting a stopping practice. I pretty much have the driving and stopping parts down. I even manage to downshift like a pro, but the starts need work. I just can't seem to get the feel of letting up on the clutch...I should probably buy Jamie new tires because I'm sure I burned most of the rubber on them in that neighborhood. I either stall or screech away like a bat out of hell.


It is driving me crazy that I can't get this whole clutch thing down, and then it hits me. First of all, I have only ever driven automatics, so my left leg is just used to chillin' when we're in the car. It's not really prepared to get into the action; it has no idea what to do. Not only that, I am asking it to do something that I have spent twenty years trying NOT to do....slam down a pedal in a car. So it's no wonder I'm having a little bit of trouble!


Jaime is a great cheerleader and wonderful teacher. She only laughs a little when I stall multiple times in a row and is so excited when I actually get a good start. Thank God she had her seatbelt on or I might have thrown her through the windshield with one of my terrible starts, but she acted as if she rode with horrendously bad drivers all the time. If it were me in that seat, I would have probably had a panic attack the first time I heard the gears grinding. But she just keeps encouraging me and making me feel like I am getting the hang of it and I start to believe her (Dad could learn a thing or two from Jaime!). I drive around a little while longer with Sammi chiming in every time there is a little jerkiness (MOM! What are you DOING up there?!). But I'm getting better and by the end of an hour, I am feeling like I if push came to shove, I could drive a stick and manage to not kill anyone.

Best part about it...I didn't hit anything and the transmission was still INSIDE Jaime's car. It was a good day.