Frankly, my dear...this better be good! - Day 13 of 35 days to 35

I have always been a rule follower. I was the one who never really got into trouble and who followed my parents' rules even when they weren't around. Boring I know, but I just hated to get in trouble and REALLY hated that dreaded phrase "I'm so disappointed in you." So I did what I was supposed to and, more importantly, didn't do the things that were forbidden. Which is why there is a LONG list of movies that 99% of my generation has seen and I have not. See, one of the major rules in our house was that we were not allowed to watch rated R movies. I am sure that was probably a rule for most kids, but my mother, the movie Nazi, was vigilant and made sure that our cinematic experiences were all Mary Poppins, ET, Annie and Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. By my teen years, I think I had just accepted this rule and never really thought about all of the fantastic movies I was missing that everyone else in the world was watching. Because of this, there are numerous cultural references that are completely lost on me. I have been deprived of such gems as National Lampoon's Vacation (all of them!), Animal House, Psycho, Porky's, Cape Fear....well you get the picture. The funny thing is, I have been in charge of my own movie watching for over a decade, yet I still haven't seen these movies. So when it came to deciding what movie should make this list as THE ONE, I was certain that it needed to be a classic; a movie that literally everyone has seen, the kind that makes people question whether you have been living in a cave your whole life when you say you haven't seen it. Gone with the Wind it is.

There are many reasons I have chosen not to watch this movie. First, one of the only lines I know from the movie has the word "plantation" in it. I don't typically chose to spend my leisure time reliving the slavery era in any aspect (even if it is a "beautifully made American classic") so I am fairly certain I won't like it. Also, it's like three hours long. Three...whole...hours....of swooning southern belles and plantations. Not my idea of a great movie night; I'll take Grease any day (is that not an American classic??). But I'm a grown up, and this is a grown up movie. If I want to keep my mature adult security pass, I will have to find out what all the fuss is about....but not until the Colts are done playing!

Which is how I find myself curled up on the couch at 11:30 PM about to start watching a long-ass movie that I don't even want to see. Damn this whole 35 days to 35 crap! I pick up the DVD case see exactly how long this torture will be and I am overcome with fits of giggles. This damn movie is rated G! Seriously?! Now I really feel like an ass! There is no good reason that I have made it to my mid thirties (gulp!) without seeing this. Hilarious! All this time I thought it would at least be juicy because it was a "grown up" movie. This oughta be good....long and without any foul language or gratuitous nudity. Oh, and I was wrong...it's FOUR hours long.

Five minutes into the movie, I am already a little lost. I have had to turn the volume up several times just so I can hear it enough to decipher the accents.It takes a few minutes to get used to it, but finally I am following. Fifteen minutes in and Scarlett has already gotten on my nerves. She's the girl in high school who knew all of the guys liked her and took every advantage of it. I hate that bitch. 

BUT I LOVE RHETT BUTLER! He is a total smartass and is the highlight of the movie thusfar. About forty five minutes in and I find myself really getting into this. I'm invested in whether Scarlett will ever get her man and how they will overcome the distruction of thier plantation (I'm over the whole plantation thing. It's a civil war era movie, I get it. But the use of the word "darky" still stings a little!) Not to mention the fact that I would kinda like to wear one of the huge dresses!

Disc one ends, and as God is my witness....I am riveted. In spite of myself, I am really getting into this movie. Aside from the fact that I want to slap Scarlet every ten minutes or so, this is really good (I mean, really, she's in love with a married man, befriends his wife and moves in with her, all the while pining away for him...that's a little bitchy!). I am beginning to understand what all of the fuss was about.

Scarlett is growing on me...she is a feisty little thing and I like that about her (that's right girl, don't let him call you sugar!). I can appreciate her strength (even if she is a self-serving bitch) and my respect is growing for her as she becomes a shrewd buisness woman . And Rhett is just fabulous. He has some of the best one liners I've heard in a while. I have got to find an occasion where I can say "I'm very drunk and I intend on getting still drunker before this evening's over." So many of the quotes I've heard tonight I recognize and did not know they were from this movie. As much as I tried to resist the spell of this movie, I am mesmerized. It's 3 AM and I'm tired, but I can't bear to turn it off (see, I am even starting to talk like her!) 


As the closing credits are rolling, I am torn. I love it, I really do. But it definitely does not have the happy ending, beautiful leading lady gets what she wants ending that my beloved romantic comedies have. And every time I thought surely another bad thing wasn't going to happen, it did. So I am not left with the warm and fuzzy feeling I am used to at the end of a movie, but I still really, really liked it. This is an amazing movie. A classic. And now I've earned my mature adult status!


Great balls of fire....this movie freakin' rocks!