Julia Child who?? - Day 21 of 35 days to 35

As I said before, I think if myself as a pretty good cook. Granted, my menu is not very extensive, but the few things I do cook I think are pretty good. The problem is, the things I cook are not from any written recipe. Most of what I know how to cook I learned from my mother over the phone. Yes, over the phone. I haven't spent much time at my parents' home since I left for college at 18 when the extent of my cooking was scrambled eggs. So as the years have gone by and I wanted to eat more that eggs, takeout and ramen noodles, I would call my mother and ask her how to cook this or that. Here's the problem. My mom cooks NOTHING from written recipes. Her idea of teaching me how to cook was to use "however much you need to make it taste good." Ummmm, not at all helpful, thanks. So through much trial and error, I have perfected a few dishes (my mac and cheese is to die for!) but you can only eat the same things so many times. I need to add to my menu but every time I look at recipes I get so intimidated I chicken out. None of them are detailed enough for me. The perfectionist in me needs to know exactly how long to whisk things or exactly how think the sauces is supposed to be or exactly what the meat is supposed to look like. Recipes give you a vague idea and expect that you are bringing some knowledge to the table. Don't the writers of these cookbooks know what happens when you assume?! But given my success in yesterday's cooking class, I am feeling kind of confident. I think I can face the challenge of cooking a meal, a real meal, from a cookbook with no help. But I should probably make sure to eat a snack first...just in case!

My first decision was picking out the recipes for the evening. My mother has given me a few cookbooks over the years (I tried not to be offended by this) so I some pretty good choices. I wanted it to be a little challenging, but not so much so that I had NO chance for success. Each time I thought I found one, I ran across a word that I didn't recognize (like blanch...what the hell is that??) or realized that most of the ingredients were on the "I don't eat that crap" list. After about an hour of scouring the books, I finally settled on Lemon-Linguini Shrimp Salad and Fresh Fruit Compote with Basil. NO freakin clue what compote is but it looks like something I can manage so I figured why not?!


First things first, I have to go to the grocery store because I have like nothing that I need for this. Do some people really keep fresh parsley and basil on hand? I write out my list of things I will need and head to Kroger. It takes much longer than anticipated, probably because I wasn't quite sure where to find half of the stuff. Where exactly would corn starch be? By the flour? After wandering around looking like a lost puppy, I think I finally have everything I need. Sixty five dollars later I am leaving Kroger thinking that I paid this much for the cooking class, so I just spent the same amount to cook a new meal with no freakin guidance whatsoever. There is something not right about that.


I get home and lay out all of my ingredients. I am starting to get really excited....I feel like a real chef. Damn, I wish I had an apron! I look around to make sure I have everything but I keep feeling like something is missing, something important. WINE!!! Who can possibly cook without wine? I pour a hefty glass of Riesling and start to chop up my fruit. Given what we learned in cooking class (I love saying that!), I decided to start with the dessert since it was going to need to chill some. I am certain it takes much longer than it should to cut up this fruit as I know my knife skills are subpar, but I finally get it all done. Maybe the wine isn't helping....


The next step is to melt a bunch of stuff together and add slurry. Yay slurry! Twice in two days I get to say that silly little word. I don't know why I am so tickled by it, but as I am mixing the cornstarch and water I just can't stop giggling. So I am mixing and stirring and the book says this mess is supposed to get thick. How thick? It doesn't look thick to me at all. I keep stirring and it keeps looking the same. Shit, did I mess up already? I read back over the recipe and it looks like I have done it right. Maybe by thick they just mean thicker than it was...though I am not sure we have reached that level either! I don't think it is going to get any thicker even if I continue to stand here and stir so I guess it is time to just go for it. I combine the probably-jacked-up mixture with the fruit and stir. Then it calls for "1/3 cup of shredded fresh basil". Okay, I kind of cheated here. I found the fresh basil at Kroger but I wasn't really sure what they meant by shredded so I opted to by the dried kind from the spices aisle. So I pour a third of a cup (which seems like an awful lot of freakin basil) into the fruit mixture and stir it up. Something doesn't look right. All I can see, and smell, is basil. Maybe it was too much???? I put the lid on the bowl and stick it in the fridge. If it's messed up I'll deal with it later. On to the pasta!


Now this recipe really doesn't seem that bad. And it even has vegetables! Luckily it's asparagus, one of the three vegetables I actually eat, so we're golden. I am chopping away, boiling the noodles, sipping on my wine and feeling like a chef. I do really like to cook and it is kind of neat to think I am making something totally new. Admittedly I am a little scared to try it. Too bad Sammi is so picky, I'd love to make her try it first, but I guess I will have to be the taste tester.


The half-empty wine bottle tells me that things have been going pretty smoothly, so I figure it is time for something to go wrong. Right on time, the buzzer goes off telling me that the noodles should be about done and it is time to add the asparagus. One problem. These noodles are nowhere close to done. Looking in the pot, it looks like half of them are still pretty stiff, so I try one and can barely get the stickiness out of my teeth. I know the book says to add the veggies now but I am gonna be a rebel and make my own timetable. I don't want to eat half-cooked noodles just so I can say I followed the stupid recipe! I let them cook a bit longer then add the asparagus. I realize now that I am kind of winging it and have no idea how long it will take for the asparagus to get done. Uh oh. Another sip of wine and my inner Julia Child starts to emerge: It's just food! I can so do this! I let the linguini and asparagus cook a bit longer then decide, with confidence, that they are done. Time to make the "oil", which I am pretty excited about because I get to grate a lemon peel. Cooking rocks! As it's all coming together, it is starting to look really good! I put it all on a plate and try to make it all pretty like in the cook book. Not as perfect as theirs, but pretty damn good I think.

After staring at it for about five minutes I realize that stalling is not going to make me less nervous, so I dig in. As I am taking the first bite, all I can think is “God please don’t let this taste terrible!” I eat the first bite. Not bad! Not bad at all!! I can tell I am beginning to puff up with pride. I DID IT!! And it is not only edible, but really freakin good! I so can’t wait to make this for someone other than myself! I polish off the first helping (which was pretty small because I was so afraid it would be disgusting) and pile another plate high with my new favorite dish. I am basking in the glory of my triumph when I remember the compote. Damn. Damn damn damn.


I finish my yummy dinner and head back into the kitchen to deal with “the compote situation”. I take the bowl out of the fridge and as soon as I take the lid off, a wall of basil smacks me in the face. Yeah, I messed this up big time. Which is kind of a bummer because I was really looking forward to desert and I spent a lot of time chopping that fruit. I pick out a couple of pieces to taste and can sort of see what it should have tasted like. If you can get past a mouth FULL of basil, it is pretty tasty. The garbage disposal should enjoy this. I decide that I will for sure take a another crack at making this…but maybe I should find out what the hell a compote is…and use fresh basil next time.


Hey, one for two ain’t bad!